Storytime: That's one way to keep warm

ALRIGHT! How about some motherfucking AQUA TEENS HUNGER FORCE, motherfuckers?!

Yes, not even ATHF is safe in the cruel, dark realm of the Internet; THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO GETS TURNED ON BY TALKING FAST FOOD!

If you don't know what ATHF is, then there's no need to worry, because I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON MYSELF! To be honest, I've only seen the movie (cuz Bruce Campbell is in it, fucking <3 dat Michigan accent!), and it was one of the trippiest experiences I've ever had! It was a motherfucking CACAPHONY of insanity, non-existing logic and sentient food! HOLY CRAP I COULD FUCKING HEAR COLORS AFTER THAT MOVIE!

Imaging watching Aqua Teens Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters when you're high! It'll be just like watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas while you're on acid: trippy and hilarious as fuck! The only problem is that when you get the munchies, you'll probably just end up eating your computer/tv...

Anyway, back to the point: two of these character: Frylock, the most kickass bag of french fries in the world, and Shake, a freakin' soda with no arms, just hands awkwardly protruding from his body (Thank GOD Meatwad, the dumbass ball of meat, didn't join the ”fun”!), ”warms” each other on a cold night.... *sobs*

There's a chapter before this one, which is boring as fuck; it's about Shake looking up on the Internet how to have sex with a bag of french fries (because everything is on the Internet... EVERYTHING!), in order to ”warm” a bitching Frylock (bitch that ain't cold, wait 'til ya get to Sweden niqqa!)... Oh, and Frylock is apparently Shake's bitch, even though EVERYONE knows NOBODY fucking messes with Frylock, and Shake is just a motherfucking awkward NERD!

… :( ...

What kind of depraved and lost mind could've come up with this?

That's one way to keep warm (chapter 2) by pinkluver93

It was around 7 pm that cold Saturday night, about 23 degrees. Carl had been out all day and was home now. Shake had gotten all the research he needed and left before Carl would come home. 

(In Sweden, 23 degrees is motherfucking HOT AS SWEET BABY CHEESUS! Fucking WIMPS! TAKE THE COLD LIKE A MAN! 

Oh, and Carl is their fatass slob for neighbour...)

Now Shake was sitting in his chair, watching TV like usual. He wanted to do this thing to Frylock so bad. He read many things and saw instructional videos, Shake had even practiced with Carl's sticky guy blow up doll(seeing as a girl one wouldn't make sense).

(”Shake had even practiced with Carl's sticky guy blow up doll (seeing as a girl one wouldn't make sense)”... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAWAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!)

But he was nervous. How would he go about doing it? Would Frylock let him? Or would he still be mad? Wait a minute, Shake thought. One of the things I read said that it'll come naturally, not by plan. So Shake just watched TV, hoping that he would go to Frylock's room unexpectedly by nature.

And he did.
(Fucking really?)

At about 8:30, Shake crept into Frylock's room. He saw Frylock layed on his side, was he sleeping? Shake turned on the light.

"Shake? What are you doing here?" Shake walked towards the bed.

"Um, it was kinda cold out there in the living room, even with the damn heat on. So, I just wanted to chill in here. You weren't sleeping, were you?" "No, I'm, actually wide awake."

"Oh, me too." Damn awkwardness! Shake thought. He looked at Frylock's computer. "Oh, I wanted to play you something." He went to the youtube website and played a never-ending instrumental version of "Let's Get It On", but played it low enough so their voices can be heard. Frylock raised an eyebrow as Shake went back to lay on the bedside next to Frylock.

(Frylock. Run.

Even though you don't have any legs:

 RUN!) 

"Personally, I enjoy the instrumental version of this better. I can appreciate the composition of the instruments and more importantly, it doesn't have some weird dude singing and having sexual intercourse at the same time."

(GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!)

"Shake, you're weird, you know that?" Shake playfully nudged him.
"Yeah, I know. It's my best forte."

The music continued to play. The two started shifting their eyes at each other and back at the ceiling. A second later, Frylock moved an inch closer to Shake, his eyes shying away.

Wow, he's making a move, Shake thought. So he decided to move a bit closer. He let his hand fall free. Soon enough, Frylock slowly grabbed it, caressing it in his grip.

Shake started to sweat, and he felt a certain tightning of his groin. He looked down, and near the bottom of his body was a zipper! My unmentionables must be inside, Shake thought. Soon, Frylock rested his head on Shake's body. Shake looked down to see that Frylock had a zipper too! We're not ready for that just yet, Shake thought.

(… They got zippers down at their groins, containing their johnsons.

WHERE ARE THEIR GROINS?!)

He glanced at Frylock's fries. He got an excited look as he put his hands on them. Frylock just opened his eyes wide. Soon, he started to run his hands up and down on them in a slow-moving motion, making him pant. Shake turned things up a notch by rapidly rubbing and squeezing his fries. I'll make him say my name, maybe my full name if I'm lucky, Shake thought happily.

(AND NOW A MILKSHAKE WITH MICROSCOPIC HANDS IS JERKING OFF THE FRENCH FRIES IN A BAG!)

"Uhhhh, yeah Shake YEAH! Holy motherfucker, uh!" Frylock was in such ecstasy as he threw his head back, continuing to groan with his hot manly voice. Shake made him scream as he ran his tongue across his greasy fries. "Shake! I think I'm, uhhhh!" Frylock excreted grease from his fries, sighing with relief. The grease got all over Shake's face. He licked some of it off, some of it sticking.

(AND THE FRENCH FRIES EJACULATES GREASE!

WHAT IS LIFE?!)

Frylock smooched Shake, his personal thank you. Soon after, he lay down on the bed, unzipping the zipper at the bottom of his box. "Maybe I'll forgive you after all of this." Frylock grinned at him. Shake unzipped his zipper as well, now both of their unmentionables showing.

(Don't fucking call them unmentionables! JUST SAY THAT THE FOOD HAS PENISES! HOW MUCH WORSE CAN THIS GET?!)

"Yeah, you'll also be crying and begging me to stop, happily of course." Shake got onto the bed and got on top of Frylock. He's shown so much love for me, and now it's time I pay it back, Shake thought.

(… It was a retorical question!!)

Before he would insert his member into Frylock's tight hole, he dressed it up with his 99 percent effective condom.

(… In case the french fries would get pregnant with the milkshake... (I know they protect against diseases too, but work with me here!))

After this was done, he made sure Frylock was facing him, laying on his back. He grabbed onto both sides of Frylock's sides and slowly thrusted into Frylock. Frylock decided to tease him.

"C'mon, you can't go any faster?" Shake grinned evily.

"You'll regret saying that." He kissed Frylock and began to thrust a bit faster.

Frylock soon felt an upcoming orgasm. It felt so good, he thought. Shake held tighter onto Frylock's sides as he looked up and panted, then soon gazed into his lover's eyes. He could defintely see the pleasure in them.

Frylock lay his head back. "Mmmm, yeah, c'mon, that's it, just a bit faster.."

(DON'T MAKE ME USE ”THE FACEPALM”!!)

Shake went a bit faster, his member rapidly entering Frylock's hole. "It's so tight," He said, panting. He evily smiled. "I'm gonna tear it apart and sign my name on it. You like that?"

(THAT'S IT! You're giving me no choice! Here comes, ”THE Facepalm”, only to be used in emergencies:

)

Frylock was definitely a slave to Shake now. He was sweating like a hog, moaning uncontrollably. He had his arms gripping his bedpost, but then they grabbed onto Shake straw, holding on during the ride.

(… Arms?

WHAT FUCKING ARMS?!)

"Holy fuck Shake! You're the best!" Frylock said, almost outta breath. He was unknowingly squeezing Shake's straw, more focused on the excitement.

Shake kissed him, still rapidly thrusting. "What's my name, bitch?" Frylock looked up at his master.
"Shake! SHAKE!" He got kissed again.
"My full name, baby!" He thrust even harder than before.
"Ahhhhh! GIVE IT TO ME, MASTER SHAKE! YOU'RE THE FUCKING BEST! AHHHH!" Frylock screamed, squeezing Shake's straw. Shake was about to climax, as well as Frylock.

(GIVE IT TO ME, MASTER SHAKE! YOU'RE THE FUCKING BEST!)

"FRYLOCK! OHH, MAN! KEEP SQUEEZING IT! AHHHHH!"

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!)

They both continued to moan as they each climaxed, with Shake uncontrollably leaking his green shake substance all over Frylock's face.

(AND IT'S GREEN!!

The McDonalds goblet is EJACULTING GREEN MILKSHAKE ON A BAG OF FRENCH FRIES WITH BEARD!)

They both collapsed on the bed. Frylock cuddled up to Shake.

"Ha," Shake said. "Your face looks a lot better now." He licked some of the shake off Frylock's face.

"Yeah, so does yours." Frylock licked some of the grease off of Shake's face. They both awkwardly laughed.

(Awkward is the least you can call this...)

"I guess we better go clean off in Carl's pool." Frylock said.
"Are you nuts?" Shake said. "It's cold as hell out there! I'll stay, even though you'll be gone and I'll have no one to cuddle with."

Frylock rolled his eyes, smiling. "Fine, I'll stay."

He lay in bed next to Shake again, holding him close. "Goodnight Shake."

"Goodnight, Frylock." They kissed and drifted off to sleep.

They had pleasant dreams that night, wet dreams. It just goes to show that you can be poor as hell, smart as hell, mean as hell, or weird as hell. You can still manage to have fun :)

(NO! NOT IF YOU'RE FOOD!

FUCK YOUR LIFE! FUCK YOUR HOUSE! FUCK YOUR COMPUTER! FUCK YOUR EYES! FUCK YOUR GRANDMA! FUCK YOUR WALLPAPERS! FUCK YOUR PETS! FUCK YOUR FAVORITE VEGETABLE! And most importantly: FUCK YOU!!)

Wow, imagine the raging boner Pinkluver93 gets whenever he goes to McDonalds! Or if Pinkluver is a girl, then that would explain why there's always a ”Caution: Wet Floor” sign on the floors...