Storytime: Bittersweet, the Wedding Night

Before we begin this weeks insanity, lemme just say this:

AGUDSFLBGSJNAETFKLGUHGDSKLB!

WHY THE FLYING FUCK WOULD ANYONE WRITE THIS BOOGUS?!

Y'all know the Hunchback of Notre Dame, right? Y'all remember how Frollo looked like, right? Well, this author thinks Frollo is a major fucking hunk-a-licious sex-god and has written a twelve-chapter long story of him and Esmeralda, yes THAT Esmeralda, having sex 24/7 before finally getting married...

THERE'S SO MANY ERRORS IN THIS LOGIC THAT IT MAKES ME WANNA LOBOTOMIZE THE AUTHOR WITH AN ICEPICK AND WOMIT INTO THE HOLE!!

And did I mention she hates Pheobus?... Bitch, don't make me fucking cut you! He's one of the best characters ever, and anyone who wanna know WHY she hates Pheobus? Because he didn't realize that the pendant Quasi recieved from Esme was a map, and ”all he wants to do is to have sex with Esmeralda”... Wait, so does Frollo, apparently? FUCK LOGIC! PHEOBUS IS BEST CHARACTER, PERIOD!

Anyway, I'm NOT gonna go through all the chapters, so I'm choosing the most fucked up part of the entire story: the wedding night.

Previous in the chapter, they were getting married. But in order to do so, Esmeralda would first have to get baptized. BECAUSE APPARENTLY IT'S OKAY, in the eyes of God, TO FUCK EACH OTHERS BRAINS OUT AS LONG AS YOU BELONG TO DIFFERENT RELIGIONS, BUT NOT TO GET MARRIED!!

Oh, and Esmeralda has indoor plumbing in her bathroom in chapter 2-3 something... I fucking LOVE the non-existing logic!!

Anyway, let's see what fucked up sinnery they're concocting for the wedding night, eh?

Bittersweet (chapter 8) by Gothika Faerie

Night falls…

After a sumptuous wedding dinner for the newlyweds, Frollo earnestly led her to their wedding bed. Esmeralda did not know whether to hang her head like a martyr or show how excited she actually was. She remembered him telling her last night's frantic fornication was a small preview to what she would be getting tonight. She blushed hotly at the thought.

(Oh, and I forgot to mention: the reason Esmeralda is marrying Frollo is because: 

He raped her after murdering Quasimodo

She liked it

 To save her family and friends/the other gypsies 

The author wanted to have a reason to write this faggotry

 Because FUCK LOGIC!)

Frollo gently prodded her into the room before shutting and locking the door securely. He wanted no rude interruptions to disrupt their consummation. Granted, they had already made love numerous times. However, this night was the most important. This night he would show her that no other mortal man was capable of pleasing her as much as he could. Oh, how he looked forward to this.

Esmeralda was captivated by the romantic adornments in the room. They were rose petals sprinkled all over the bed. They contrasted beautifully with the black, satin sheets and mahogany bed frame. The fireplace was lit and blazing in all its intensity. She knew this night would be very interesting.

(Interesting indeed, for little did she know that he was about to burst out into spontaneous singing to the fireplace in just a few moments)

He soon approached her, a lewd, libidinous look on his face. Esmeralda shrank back just a little at the heat he was projecting. Frollo smirked and ordered her to undress. Esmeralda stiffened slightly before turning her back. Her dainty fingers nimbly pulled the tight knots loose before allowing the dress to unravel off her frame. Frollo watched hungrily at the white lace opening up, revealing more and more of her smooth, sandy skin.

Esmeralda slid each sleeve off of her shoulder, one at time in the slowest, most sensual pace. She hooked her hands on the bodice and pulled it down, exposing her ripe bosom and slender waist. Finally, she pushed the gown right off her hips and thighs, letting the delicate silk and lace fall limply around her ankles. Blushing, she turned, her lustrous curls framing her rosy cheeks.

Frollo couldn't believe how obedient she was being. The witch certainly had learnt how to behave herself. He strode towards her, removed her veil and watched her in all her naked loveliness. His spidery fingers cupped her jaw line, sliding sensuously down to stroke her neck, over her tense shoulders, lingering around the curves of her luscious breasts before going back up to thumb the outline of her rosy lips.

Every hint of flesh he caressed left a smoldering sensation building within her core. She shuddered as he leaned in to nip her neck, drawing just a little blood before licking it away, relishing her tangy flavor. His lips trailed downwards to suck on the beginning of the valley between her bouncing breasts. The feeling of her warm skin beneath his ravenous lips turned him on greatly. Also her husky gasps and sensual moans didn't hurt either.

(Hang on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen...)

"Lie on the bed," He demanded, letting his rich baritone drop to an aroused growl. His deep voice left goose bumps littering her frame and she shivered before consenting to his request. The pliable, velvety black sheets felt delicious around her voluptuous frame and she writhed and wriggled on the bed, shamelessly enjoying their softness. Frollo bit his lip watching her rubbing every inch of her sun kissed flesh against the sheets, hoping to be under her later on.

He started divesting himself of his own clothing. Esmeralda sat up against the comfortable pillows to look at his magnificent hands pulling his swallowing black robe off his pale, lithe frame and unlacing the laces that held up his undergarments before flinging them to some dark corner in the room. Esmeralda's green, knowing eyes roamed all over his anatomy. Yes, he had been naked before her many times but this time; she actually could examine and enjoy all he had. The fireplace glow somewhat lit up around him, making him almost god-like.

(Claude Frollo: Sadistic judge a la Westboro Baptist Church at day, MOTHERFUCKING SEX-GOD at night)

Frollo wondered at Esmeralda's intense staring and couldn't help but grow just a little anxious. He did not know why seeing that in their previous encounters, she had thoroughly enjoyed herself. However, he still felt somewhat insecure that she was finally noticing how age had ravaged him. Frollo tried to maintain a reasonable physical build but he knew he was nowhere as taut or as toned as the young soldiers he recruited. Combined with the wrinkles, crow's feet and dark circles around his eyes, he knew perfectly well he was far from being considered dashing.

His insecurities disappeared almost immediately when she crawled towards him and ran her palms down his toned, slim chest. A come-hither smile was tugging at the corners of her ruby lips. She left moist butterfly kisses along the sinewy muscles, running her hands around his nicely chiseled abdomen. She lovingly rubbed her soft, small fingers against the scant patch of silver hair in the middle of his chest. She was not a fan of chest hair but the thought of someone so sophisticated to possess such a manly quality turned her on.

(… Really?)

He grabbed her wrists and pressed her back down upon the velvet sheets. How he brimmed with joy at the sight of her panting and flushed on his bed. Their bed. His lips soon crashed against hers passionately, ravenous to kiss her the moment they entered this room. Esmeralda moaned longingly and her tongue broke through their lip-lock to meet his. They lay there, him straddling her as their tongues danced a ferocious tango within the stage that was their hungry mouths.

His lips broke away from hers, earning him a mournful sound at the loss of contact. Smirking, he licked a blazing trail up the side of her neck, careful to brush against that same fiery spot he once stroked, before nibbling at her earlobe. Esmeralda was whimpering at his mouth's every action. All of a sudden, he started to lift himself off of her. She made a little whiny sound before pulling him back on top of her. Oh, he found it so adorable the way she did that.

"Don't worry, my dear. I am only getting up to retrieve something. Just wait patiently," Kissing her gently on the cheek; he left her side to pick up a couple of objects that had been enveloped by the darkness of the room. Esmeralda cocked an eyebrow in curiosity as he made her way back to her. The fireplace lit up what he was holding: A shiny bottle of some really expensive red wine and a bunch of juicy, plump purple grapes.

(YOU FORGOT THE CHEEZE, NITWIT!)

Esmeralda's eyes widened. Every nerve on her body jumped up in anticipation. Frollo held her fiery gaze as he uncorked the bottle. He ordered to lie back; her arms and legs spread wide open. Who was she to not consent to that? Lying back, her rambunctious, raven curls splayed around her head like wild raven vines. She closed her eyes, a blissful smile upon her face.

(And here it comes!)

A frightened gasp escaped her lips when she felt a light trickle of liquid drizzle onto her heaving breasts and flat stomach. The gasp graduated into a husky moan when a hot, slithering tongue imitated the same motion the liquid had. Her vision was now a tad blurry due to all the sensations she was experiencing but she managed to make out a silver head flicking its tongue along her panting and writing frame.

Frollo's tongue expertly lapped up the wine from her lovely skin. Coupled with her sweat, he thought she tasted much better than all the priceless wines in the world combined. He tongued her breasts, teasing them with his sharp-edged teeth. He would lick and suck one erect rosebud before blowing on it. The contrasting feeling of the cold wine and his hot breath on her soft skin was incredible. She moaned softly, her hands tunneling into his silky, silver hair.

(….

Frollo...

and Esmeralda

Are having a kinky wine orgy...

)

While nibbling on one hardened rosebud, Frollo guided his hand to her other, forlorn and ignored breast and cupped it. Esmeralda immediately leaned into his hand. He squeezed it lightly, weighed it in his hand before pinching her nipple until she cried out in joy. He moaned softly in return, loving how perfect her swollen mound felt in his palm. He broke away from her breasts to kiss down her toned stomach, sucking up any more excess wine while tasting her own natural flavor. His hands were kept busy as well.

He slid his wide, slender palms against her inner thighs; his smirk deepened when he discovered her swollen sex was already peeking out from her slippery, hot womanly folds, begging for his attention. No, he would only give her such attention when he knew she so desperately needed it. His palms trailed sensually up her thighs, paused at her knees so he could bestow a gentle kiss on each one before he lifted both her legs up.

(I think I'mma cry for my gangraped childhood here, excuse me for a moment...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

Such beautiful legs; toned, tanned and fit for dancing. He imprinted burning, wet kisses upon her sensitive ankles, leaving her to shiver and hiss. His mouth soon left loving nips and sucks up her calves before slowly, torturously going up her feminine upper thighs, mere millimeters away from her pleasure spot. Esmeralda struggled in his grasp, wanting him to kiss her where she wanted to be kissed. Of course, who was Frollo to follow such menial orders?

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

He dropped her legs onto the sheets before cupping her chin and kissing her deeply and passionately. Esmeralda nearly melted into the sheets. His entire mouth was warm, sweet and just a little tangy due to the wine. It amazed her he could just halt everything and focus solely on her mouth. Finally, he broke apart and picked up the wine bottle and dripped a little into her open mouth and neck.

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

They kissed again, tongues tangling, both of them hoping to taste and drink as much of the ravishing wine as they could. Esmeralda trembled and moaned, one of her hands toying with his already messy silver hair while the other was running down his rigid back.

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAAAAaaahaaaa!!

Okay, now I'm done...)

"Can we put the wine somewhere else?" She inquired, trying to look innocent while doing so. Frollo smirked and licked against her neck, earning a gasp before picking up the bottle and letting it flow slowly over her throbbing and very sensitive clit. Esmeralda bucked her hips against the sudden sensation of cold wine against her heated sex. Soon, she moaning like a frenzied harlot as his tongue vicariously flicked against her drenched bud before burying itself within her pink folds. His slithering, nimble tongue probing and thrusting into her darkest, most lurid fantasy left her trembling tremendously. The combination of her sweet feminine juices and the tangy taste of fine red wine were tantalizing. Frollo nearly thought he could eat out of her for hours. Shivering with all her might, Esmeralda nearly thought she could pass out after she screamed passionately as an earth-shattering orgasmic wave crashed over her.

(Oh Frollo, you're such a closet romantic, aren't you?)

"Yes, I believe we could put it there," He answered back jokingly; looking up at her with her juices glistening all over his mouth and chin. Esmeralda's sweet face took on a devilish smirk. Ooh, Frollo always knew what was in store for him when that smirk crossed her innocent countenance. In her huskiest bedroom voice, Esmeralda corrected him. "I was talking about your private organs."

(… WHAT?!)

The results of that statement were shown almost instantly. A jolt of searing heat coursed through Frollo's nerves and steeled his already hardened with arousal manhood almost painfully. He just gaped at her, not believing what she had just stated. Then again, this woman knew her way around the bedroom and was possibly the most seductive temptress known to men. She held his gawking face with her self-confident smirk, hoping she had hit home with him.

A few minutes later, he was flat on his back and she gripped the bottle in her hand, a victorious smirk playing across her exotic features. She allowed the scarlet liquid to flow in rivulets all over his lean, defined muscles before drenching his fully erect manhood with the tangy liquid. Now, she could actually relish what she was getting. He was long, thick and hardened with a fire blazing within him. What more could a woman ask for?

(… She actually poured wine on his Johnson? Hopefully, some of the liquid made it into his urethra and the pain makes him WAKE the fuck UP and realize WHAT HE'S DOING!!)

Her rosy lips soon descended upon him, lapping and sucking every wine-soaked area. She ran her tongue languidly over his taut nipple before trailing down into the crevasses and deep lines of muscle. Her hand lovingly stroked the wet wisps of silver sprouting sparsely from his chest as she continued licking up all the stray trails of wine. Frollo was enjoying himself! He moaned deeply every time her hand would 'accidentally' brush against his hardened arousal. Her mouth left moist, burnt lip marks across his opalescent skin.

(Like FIRE!

HELLFIRE!

This burning in my BRAIN!

This stupid

Bullshitstorm

Is driving me INSANE!)

Esmeralda observed his swollen, throbbing length with her head cocked to the side. She rarely did this to a man. She actually found it disgusting to have a man's slimy cock buried within her throat. Yet, the very thought of doing something that erotic and sinful to Frollo left her hot and bothered. She kissed the sensitive tip gently and was rewarded with a few drops of creamy semen leaking from it. Licking her lips, she enveloped his moistened cock with her entire ruby mouth. Frollo groaned and reached down to weave his spindly fingers into her forest of raging black hair.

(How you know it's a virgin woman who wrote this: pre-cum.

That's one of the most disturbing parts with some fanfics: PRE-FUCKING-CUM!

There's no such thing as pre-cum! A guy who dumps his load DUMPS IT ALL AT ONCE! If he's got something leaking outta his Mr Happy, then it's probably something wrong and he should search medical attention for it!)

"Oh, Esmeralda…" His moans were longing, rapturous and deep. "My lovely Esmeralda…my beautiful angel…Ohh…."

(Ooooh, vodka... my one true love... my savior, OOOHH!)

One hand gripping around his thick length, she ran her mouth up and down his swelling meat. Her soft lips felt heavenly against his hardness and her darting tongue would lick up all of the hot, creamy juices as well as the tangy red wine. He was whimpering and bucking his hips against her mouth, loving her ministrations. He bit his lip as he concentrated on the ceiling, his entire being thrown into a pleasurable spiral. At this point, he regretted nothing. Not the fires. Not the executions. Not even Quasimodo's death. The dancing girl was his and his to play with now and he did not care for eternal damnation. If he were to burn in the fires of Hell for this marriage and these deepening feelings for the gypsy girl, so be it! Just as long as she was here with him forever.

(And THAT's pretty much what you'r'e gonna do, Casanova! Besides, since when did he EVER regret the executions, fires OR Quasimodos death?)

One last, loud, obnoxious suck and he was roaring in ecstasy. His hips arched off the ground as he buried inside of her warm, inviting mouth before growling as the warm wetness came gushing out of him. Esmeralda swallowed it all loudly; an erotic noise that caused him to harden again almost instantly. She smirked, leaning off him, her pink tongue lapping his warm juices off her mouth. Such an action sent another flame coursing through him and he grabbed her before slamming her into the bed.

"You little witch," He purred, sending her into a warm state of euphoria. "You shall see how I treat my bride." With that, he parted her thighs wide enough for him to enter comfortably. Esmeralda's breath hitched. She could feel his vibrating tip against her slick opening. Bracing himself with a deep breath, Frollo slowly sheathed his throbbing member inside of her.

Esmeralda let out a choked gasp. So many times he had entered her sacred garden and she still marveled at his immense size. He was thick which intensified the delicious friction between them. He was bellowing in happiness as he stroked and rubbed himself within her. They were sensuous decadence at that point, grinding and heaving against each other. Their mixed moans and bawls of gratification threatened to drown each other out.

(Oh, and one more thing about human anatomy: A guy who lightens the load, WON'T get hard immediately again.

AND THE AUTHOR IMAGINES JUDGE FROLLO WITH A HUMONGOSO DICKO!)

"Ugh…yes…harder…don't stop," Esmeralda moaned breathily. Frollo grunted and slowed down a little, wanting her to feel every little bit of him. The gypsy gritted her teeth in satisfaction as he moved nimbly and slowly within her. He would push in as deeply as she could accommodate his impressive length before pulling until only his surging tip would remain. He noticed that even though he was only halfway in, she was already tightening her feminine folds, trying desperately to draw him in to her and keep him there.

(Wait, it seems like I've got more crying to do, hang on...

WWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

"Patience, my darling, patience…" His deep voice trailed off, leaving her moaning as he thrust back harder into her. She gasped and hissed as he pulled out again, teasing her with his circular motions, stroking against her wet, constricting walls. He was scratching all her right itches and it was only a matter of time when she would climax. Already that familiar, tingling heat was building up within her pussy and it radiated out to all her nerves and digits, numbing them. She dug her nails into his back before dragging them downwards, drawing a little blood. Frollo winced at that but continued ramming into her, determined to bring her over the brink of heavenly bliss.

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!

Did she just write ”pussy”? WHAT?! I didn't think that word existed in this authors vocabulary?! From what I can recall, she's uses every more sofisticated names for the female's reproductive organs, but NOW SHE WROTE PUSSY?! LIKE SOME VULGAR SAVAGE?!)

Esmeralda lifted her legs until they were nearly perpendicular to her lying frame, hoping that this would cause him to plunge even deeper within her. He groaned and dragged her hips up to meet him even closer. Esmeralda was imploding with every raining thrust. He slipped in and out of her vigorously, not stopping once. She was flushed, panting, her spine bowed and her head thrown back. Her nails dug even deeper into his back as her hips willingly followed his erratic motions.

The orgasm was intensifying, heating up and simmering just below the surface. Frollo was relentless. He slammed harder and faster inside of her, relishing her passionate moans of desire and yearning. His ravenous mouth had buried itself against her neck, licking up her sweat and kissing her lightly. That little lapping sensation against her warm neck and the constant driving within her was more than Esmeralda could bear.

(This has GOT to be the most detailed sex-scene every written by human hands?! Except for Fifty Shades of Gray, because that entire book is just one, single, looong sex-scene...)

Her heaving body arched and her nails deeply dug within his back, Esmeralda came harder than she had ever come in her entire life. The orgasm rippled towards her feminine, pink walls, causing them to clamp violently around his throbbing heat as her husky, animalistic screech of ecstasy echoed through the palace. The climax was so raging that Esmeralda nearly believed she had wet herself in the process. She was relieved when she discovered she had simply just released her steamy wetness all over him. Never had she allowed so much liquid to escape her though. Not that she cared; she was simply too satiated and exhausted to care about anything.

(Oh yes, and OF COURSE Esmeralda is a squirter!

I don't get it?! WHY do people write about SQUIRTERS?! It's not THAT sexy! Seriously, I am a squirter, sad but true, and I can't have sex in beds because I'll always soil them WAY more than what he does! Sure, it's not so much that comes out (at least not as much as some fanfic-writers claims it comes), but afterwards it FEELS like I fucking wet the bed or something! I fucking HATE it! The only place I feel comfortable about sex is basically EVERYWHERE ELSE BUT ON A BED/SOFA/CARSEAT/ANYTHING THAT'S SOFT AND COMFY!

…

AND YOU'RE VERY FUCKING WELCOME FOR THAT PIECE OF PERSONAL INFORMATION AND NOW YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO UN-KNOW THAT!)

Frollo moaned hoarsely, his face buried inside of her thick, sweet-smelling hair as he too joined her in climax, the surge of wet warmth pooling inside of her lovely cavern. A little bit actually ended up trailing down her thigh. She shivered at the heat she could feel in the liquid. Finally, he lifted himself off of her and rolled onto his back next to her, gasping for breath and completely satisfied.

Looking over to Esmeralda, he smirked at how affected she was after everything. She was red in the face and desperately trying to catch her breath. Well, it seemed he had shown her that he could be much better than all those other, younger men she had been with.

(Ugh...)

There was only one last thing to do.

(He thought as he put on a pair of sunglasses and retrieved a Neurolizer from under the pillow)

"My dear," He gently tugged her up so she could lie against his chest. Esmeralda smiled at him, drunken with pleasure from what she had just experienced. Frollo returned her smile and plucked a grape from the bunch. He gingerly fed it to her. She bit into the grape, relishing the exotic sweetness that exploded onto her taste buds as the juices ran freely into her mouth. Mmm, delicious.

(But not as delicious as the sperm of a fucking ancient old man, eh?! Fml...)

"Now come here," He purred seductively, popping a grape into his own mouth before dragging her down into the covers. Esmeralda sighed. Dear God, this man was insatiable!

Not that she was complaining.

(BUT I AM COMPLAINING!)

A/N: Oh my, that was hot to write. I wish they invented chocolate during this time. It would make everything more…decadent. (SAYS THE ONE WHO GAVE A MIEDEVAL GYPSY INDOOR PLUMBING!)

Alright, I'll leave you alone with your molested childhood and eye-bleach, while I go cut my eyes out with my The Hunchback of Notre Dame-DVD...

By the way, WHY do they think Frollo is SEXY?! If there's any guy that's sexy in that movie, it's Quasimodo!

I mean, just look at this hunk!

 I JUST WANNA HUMP THE FUCK OUTTA THAT HUMP!

You don't happen to like wine, do you Quasi?

Or vodka?