I know this might sound crazy, but I think there's actually people out there who reads this crackblog... I know I've got three friends who reads it, but lately I've had at least six pageviews a day WICH IS A GREAT DEAL TO ME! However, I haven't had a single comment though... But that's alright, I really dgaf...
Basil on Baker Street, or just The
Great Mouse Detective for you who only saw the Disney movie, and
didn't read the books.
Unfortunately not a ground-pillar in
my childhood, but that doesn't stop me from ranking this movie as #3
as my all-time favorite Disney films, and #5 for my all time favorite
books.
I found this shitsauce while seeking
through the deepest, darkest parts of fanfiction.net after a
PewdieCry fic, fishing around in ankledeep sewerwater crammed full of
yaoi and Shadow the hedgehogxMary-sue fics. The author, Tabrina, has
written a godawful PewdieCry fic dubbed ”Hungry as the wolf”,
which I might one day consider to maybe run here. Maybe. But now, I'm
showing you Coming of Age, something in my eyes FAR more evil than
her two PewdieCry fics COMBINED!
First, we've got a little AN from
the bringer of chaos herself:
Seriously… just shoot me now for this…
inspiration hit and who am I to deny my inner dirty horrible muse
what she wants. TT~TT
I own nothing, of course, and I'm just borrowing
these characters for my horrible ideas. This is really going to be
just a drabble, so nothing too serious…
YOUR STORY IS BAD!
AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!
Fuck, lets get this
over with, ay?
Coming of Age by Tabrina
As Basil stood downstairs in his flat, his eyes
wandered around the room, to the various brightly wrapped gifts, to
the streamers, to everything else that didn't usually fit his usual
rooms attire. Had it been his own birthday he would have found all
of this to be utterly ridiculous, but being that the party
decorations had been set up for his young ward, he figured he could
allow it for the time being.
(Anything for the little brat... Anything)
It had been roughly 8 years since his first run in
with little Olivia and her father, and since then, the girl was
hardly ever not around him. It began innocently enough, she was
constantly underfoot, as she would frequent his home to 'assist' in
cases (If you know what I mean).
Basil and Dawson were never bothered too much, and would
generally give her small tasks in which she would go to work on
diligently (Wanna know something funny? Task is slang for
ballsack in Swedish... Just thought you might wanna know, as it
would be appropriate in this fucking crapezola fanfic...). Of
course they would only allow her to help out in the home, and
though none of his cases ever measured up to the excitement of
catching Ratigan, some of them did still get quite dangerous. When
Dawson and him were out, she would generally assist Ms. Judson
around his home, though his room was strictly off limits, and he
always made sure that there was never anything out of place.
As Olivia grew older, she began to insist to be
allowed to help in cases out of his home, and on some of his more
mild cases, he would often bend slightly on his rules, and allow
her to tag a long. Sometimes she could be a great asset, and though
she still had yet to figure something out before him, she would
sometimes be a step ahead of Dawson. She was also becoming quite
the cook, and he always knew when it was her or Ms Judson that made
the cheese crumpets, as there would always be one missing out of a
batch when the plate was brought in if Olivia had made them.
(Ya fat little female dog!)
Yet this was not the only things Basil was
beginning to notice about the once small girl. He could more often
than not catch her vacant stares in his direction, on more than one
occasion looking up at her to find her quickly look away with a
coloring to her cheeks. Of course this wasn't missed by the sharp
witted detective and it was from then on hard to not notice her
advancements. Which was becoming harder and harder for Basil to
ignore. The once small girl had grown into quite the beautiful
young woman, and with age grew curves, and had Basil not hoped she
was as innocent as the day he first met her, he began to realize
how close she would stand, or how she would lean over just barely
when looking at something that involved the case. (You know it's
gonna be bad sooner or later, especially when the topic moves off
in this direction) Thankfully no one else had yet to notice,
but with her advances becoming more and more bold, he was wondering
how long it would take the rest to notice. For that matter, how
long it would take anyone else to notice that he was actually
looking.
(Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you:
Proffessor Ratigan, the badguy of the movie/first book. He will
accompany us, aiding me with his wide array of facial expressions
to allow to fully express my contempt for this fiction)
Basil idly chatted with Hiram and Dawson, as though
she was the guest of honor, Olivia had yet to come downstairs.
Olivia had many a time fallen asleep in his home, and as she grew
older, she almost began to take up residency here in one of the
previously vacant rooms. It had once been empty save for a few old
papers from cases, and has since been transformed into a young
woman's room. It had become so as one night she had fallen asleep
in Basil's chair at the small age of 12 after a case that was
wearing even him thin. When Hiram had come to fetch her Basil
informed Hiram that he had a spare room, and he hate to wake her
for a journey home. Hiram though humble at first, finally agreed,
and thus the room had since become hers. (Hiram, if you didn't
quite catch on fast enough, is Olivias father, and I innerly hope
he castrated Basil and stoned Olivia to death shortly after the end
of this story)
Ms. Judson burst from the kitchen a large small on
her face, and a large cake in her hands, as she set it down on the
small table that Dawson had scrounged up for the occasion. (I
still can't figure out what a large small on the face is...
Suggestions anyone?)
"Oh my, where is Olivia? She almost never
sleeps in this late!" Ms. Judson said as she look toward the
three men standing around, with no Olivia to be seen. (Don't
send Basil up there!)
"We were up pretty late last night, perhaps
the extra rest should do her good," Dawson chimed in, looking
ready for a small nap himself. The current case was winding to a
close, and just the last pieces of the puzzles were still missing.
(Sure, how cute everything is, couldn't they AT
LEAST finish the case instead of taking a break to celebrate
someones birthday? Seriously, you twits are basically GIVING the
bad guy an opportunity to get away for ever! He's got a whole
fucking day to get rid of evidence, get rid of witnesses etc.
Fucking GENIUS idea, Basil! You surely are the Sherlock Holmes of
mice!)
"I shall go fetch her, I think she's had
plenty of rest by now doctor," (Oh no you fucking don't!)
said Basil as he was already heading towards the stairs. Hiram
seemed not to have any qualms, and went on with a previous
conversation he had been having with Dawson, that through his
musings, Basil had heard nothing of before (Worst. Father.
Ever.). As he stepped down the short hallway that led to
Olivia's room, he noticed that he saw very little light coming from
under the door, and being that there was no window to that room, he
wondered why, if she was awake, she had so little light. (Oh
here we go again...)
Half expecting no reply, he gently rapped on the
door, all but pressing his ear up against the door to listen for a
reply. It was merely a moment before a small "come in"
was heard on the other side.
As he opened the door, taking a step into the
room, he was instantly on his guard as from what he could see,
there was no one in the room. The bed had yet to be made, yet he
could see no sign of Olivia under the blankets. He was jerked from
his thoughts as he heard the door behind him close softly, and as
he spun on his heel, ready for any attack the assailant might throw
at him, he was certainly not prepared for what he saw before him.
(Oprah Winfrey?)
Bathed in the soft glow of the room, stood Olivia,
her soft fur nearly completely exposed as all she wore was his
shirt, making a mental note to wonder how she had gotten it later,
that had only the last two buttons done up, and her red bow, that
he almost never saw her without. (She held out a small rag;
”Does this smell like cloroform to you, mr Basil?”) It
didn't take long for him to snap back to reality and quickly turn
his back to her.
"I'm sorry Ms. Flangerhanger (AUWRGH!
Sorry, that was just another part of my soul dying a bit. Nothing
to worry about!), you said come in, and I assumed you were
decent." Basil was no fool, he knew that even if she hadn't
been decent, it wouldn't have been his shirt she would have been
wearing. She had planned this, and he had walked right into her
trap.
"Basil, you know what today is right,"
Olivia asked as she walked up behind him, pressing up against his
back, and reaching her hands around in front of him, gently undoing
the knot in his tie, while the other gently and very skillfully
popped the buttons on his vest.
(Probably looked something like that ^)
Attempting to remain calm, Basil turned around, and
taking a step backwards from her, in hopes in giving himself a bit
of distance, and therefore a bit more control. This was all for
naught as the sharp movement had caused his shirt to become
displaced a bit, as one of her breasts barely remained covered. It
was all he could do from staring at her, and tried to keep his eyes
upwards towards the ceiling.
"Today is your birthday, which is why everyone
is downstairs awaiting your arrival." Suddenly wondering how
terrible it would be if any of the guests downstairs were to come
up looking for the now two missing guests (That awkward moment
when you're banging your friends daughter and her father suddenly
walks into the room...). Practically holding his breath as she
once again walked right before him, only a breath away, standing
just slightly on her toes so that her lips were almost aligned with
his as she spoke again.
"Mmhmm, but what birthday, Basil?" Olivia
enquired as her lips nearly ghosted his, placing her hands on his
shoulders to help steady herself on her toes, almost surprised
herself that Basil hadn't fled to the door (I'm not
surprised...). She had tried to be as forward as she could
without actually throwing herself at him for a few years, but
knowing Basil was a proper mouse, and knew the dangers of her age,
it was more of a tease for them both. Though she couldn't deny the
excitement she got when she would notice his eyes slip over her
form, or in some cases down the top of her dresses, when she would
lean provocatively towards him.
"Today is to be your 18th birthday, Olivia,"
Basil all but whispered, a lump forming in his throat as he fought
with himself over his options. He was sure that this encounter was
to end in either of two ways. The first way being he rush from the
room and back downstairs, flushed, and quite aroused, yet never
having to worry about what either Dawson, or worse Hiram would say.
(I would chose option #1...)
He chose the second option, which was to quite
forcefully pull Olivia towards him, her breasts pressed up against
his chest as their lips connected, in a union that had been a long
time coming. The way her body relaxed against his let him know that
though she had seemed confident she was just as scared as he to
whether this was the correct action to take. (...But then again
I'm not a pedomouse)
Her lips were amazingly soft against his, along
with every other part of her he could feel against him. As their
kiss lingered, he could feel her now shaking fingers set to work on
the buttons on his vest, and working to disrobe him of his other
clothing. As Olivia broke the kiss, his nerves got the better of
him, and he wondered if he was so out of practice that perhaps she
had not enjoyed it. Only to find that her reasoning was not that,
but instead so she could focus on working on one particular button
that she had apparently been having troubles with. Basil couldn't
help but give a small chuckle, to which she blushed furiously, and
he assisted her, having his vest and shirt off in no time.
(Y'know, if this was a scene from one of my
fanfiction-writing friends story, featuring the cutest CanonxOC
couple ever, I would've squee'd my brains out. But knowing that
this is written by some fucking perverse psychopath, and about two
canon characters whose age-difference must be AT LEAST 20 years makes me wanna roll up into a ball in the nearest ditch and BAWL!
SOMETHING isn't right here!
Oh, and one more thing: I know Olivia's 18 here,
but I keep seeing this little girl
squirming all over this guy
and it makes my squeedily spooch hurt...)
It was Olivia's turn next, and as he slid his hands
under the fabric of his own shirt that seemed to fit her lithe form
a bit too well, he slid his hands gently along the smooth fur of
her stomach. The soft contact caused a small squirm and giggle from
her, and he made note of her sensitivity for later, but was more
interested in the matter at hand. His hands slid from her stomach
along her breasts, holding back noises of his own as she let out a
slight moan at the feel of his hands as they slid past, and up to
her shoulders, where he slid the shirt from her, letting it pool to
the floor below her.
(For fuck sake, I know he's about to
acquire cunilungus from a frickin' brat, BUT WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE
IN CHARACTER?! THAT JUST MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH WORSE!!)
He had no idea how he had resisted her this long as
he took in every curve of her body, wanting to memorize her just in
case this was his last and only chance to behold this sight. As he
noticed the way her arms began to move before her in a way to
shield herself, he grabbed her hands gently, placing a kiss on her
lips and shaking his head.
"There is not a thing to hide my dear, you are
astonishing," He whispered, as he stared into her beautiful
blue eyes.
(Blue?
...
OOOHH! She's talkin' 'bout THIS little slut!
Then it's okay-er, but still not okay.)
This one endearing sentiment seemed to give her the
courage she had started this little game with, as she began to
unbutton his trousers while stepping closer to him, causing him to
step backward, until the back of his thighs were met with
resistance. A quick glance over his shoulder showed him that she
had backed him up against the lower portion of the bed, and as her
pushing persisted he was forced take a seat just as she had fully
undone his pants. He couldn't help but stare as from his seated
position he had a full view of her luscious looking breasts, and
just a tad lower her beautiful hips. This view only lasted shortly
as soon she was straddling his lap, the heat from her body
radiating to his own, seeming to set his blood a flame. As she
leaned in to kiss him again he felt her hand grab a hold of his,
and guide it to her moist center.
As his fingers gently tested the waters so to
speak, he memorized every sound the young woman straddling him made
in accordance to his touches. It wasn't long before he, as gently
as he could, slid his finger inside of her folds, the rest of her
soft lips against his palm. Breaking the kiss Olivia buried her
face into the crook of his neck, as she whimpered softly right next
to his ear, spurring him on even more. Knowing that if this was to
go further, she would need to be able to take more than his single
finger, he gently pulled his one finger out, only to replace it
with two, giving a few experimental pumps for good measure.
(O FOR FUCK SAKE! WHADDYA WANT FROM ME? BLOOD?
JUST FUCKING STOP THIS FAGGOTRY ALREADY!)
Olivia keened into his ear, causing him to hold his
breath and steel himself as to not move his own hips upwards. He
knew she needed this to be slow and gentle, being her first time
and all. Though Olivia had other plans. Feeling Basil stiffen below
her drove her courage upwards, and as she knew she didn't have all
the time in the world before the others would be curious as to why
Basil had yet to come down with her in tow, she slid her hand
between them, and slid his fingers from her. A mischievous smile
was all she gave Basil's confused glance, as she situated herself
above him. She imagined he was about to protest, that is until she
began to slide his member inside of her, and all he managed was a
moan and a furrowing of his brow, as he quickly grabbed onto her
hips.
(It's about these two
THINK ABOUT IT!)
He was met with no resistance, and this did not
come as a surprise to either. Not that Olivia had ever had another
partner, she had always been a very active girl, and it was not
uncommon for her barrier to tear on it's own during activities
(Great. Now I've got an image of a ten year old Olivia
Flaversham masturbating with a cucumber etched into my brain
forever... THANK YOU, TABRINA! JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!). Of
course neither was bothered by this, and it set Basil's mind a bit
more at ease, not wanting to hurt Olivia, especially during this
most intimate of moments.
The motions were instinctual for them both as
Olivia began to raise and lower herself above Basil, her head arms
around his shoulders as she tossed her head back, about to moan
loudly when Basil thrust his hand out to cover her mouth. She was
at first confused, and almost hurt, until she remembered just where
she was, and just who was downstairs waiting for the two of them
(What? Don't you think your father would be proud if he found
out that you shagged the most brilliant private eye in all of
Mousedom? Right above his head? On your 18th
birthday?). In hopes of keeping her lips occupied she leaned
forward kissing Basil passionately as she continued her rhythm.
Basil was all but killing himself trying to keep steady, wanting
Olivia to set the pace for her first time, but finding it to be
increasingly difficult with every slide of her body, and every
electrified kiss. It came as little surprise to Basil as her
movements began to become erratic and her kisses less frequent, as
her whimpers and moans began to escalate a bit. She was close to
completion, and Basil doubted that it would have come this soon had
she ever experimented. As he figured, looking up into her face he
could see her brow furrowing as her movements began to slow.
"Relax Olivia," Basil whispered, hoping
to ease the girls mind, but finding that his soothing words were
not going to be enough. Sliding his hand from her hip, he gently
slid his thumb along her wet lips, before sliding it upwards to the
small nub, that as he ran his thumb over it, he almost regretted
it. Though he thoroughly enjoyed the way she bucked her hips and
mewled loudly, he could only imagine what the others had thought of
that sound, as he knew it was too loud not to be heard (Don't
worry! They're all busy having a threesome downstairs, don't you
worry your extraordinary little brain about it, you sick perv!).
He figured he could come up with an explanation if the problem
arise as he repeated his actions quickly, letting her thrust wildly
upon him (Umm, it's not what it looks like! We're just playing
Twister!... Without the mat! I promise!). His own breathing
began to become labored as her sounds were driving him positively
wild, and her quick hip movements were doing quick work of him.
Thankfully her release came quickly and she threw
her head back in a near silent cry as he felt her already tight
passage, tighten further around him, causing him to hiss under his
breath in hopes of keeping himself sane. As her body all but
crumbled into his own, he smiled, as he felt her breathing begin to
return to normal slightly after a moment, and she leaned up to kiss
his lips.
"Basil… that was amazing…" she
panted, resting her head on his shoulder, as she tried to compose
herself a bit. As he tried to lift her a bit to remove herself, she
resisted, moving back from him a bit to look down at him. "Basil
you… you haven't…" not being able to find the words she
merely blushed, and looked down. He smiled and couldn't help the
small chuckle that escaped at how even after that she could seem so
innocent and endearing. (”And secondly, my dear, I DIDN'T EVEN
HAVE TO TOUCH YOU TO MAKE YOU SQUIRM LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING WORM
IMPALED ON A CHEESEDOODLE! You horny little rapist!”)
"My dear it is not my birthday." He
smiled, as he spoke the words, placing a kiss on her cheek. But
this apparently did not suffice as with shaky limbs, she began to
move once again, causing Basil to slip up releasing a moan of his
own. Which seemed to only spur her on more, her movements speeding
up, as his hands one again placed themselves at her hips,
tightening a bit.
(Ffs, she just never know when to quit, does
she?
By the way, I think I'm gonna keep some of these Ratigan faces... I've got a feeling they might come in handy in future stories)
"Are you two all right in there?" Came a
familiar voice from outside the door causing both parties to
stiffen and instantly panic. (BUSTED! Oh, and I think Basil
already ”stiffened” BEFORE Ms. Judson came to cockblock. If not
however, then I think I'll need another drink...) It was Basil
who spoke, hoping that his mind would not fail to find some excuse.
"Quite all right Ms. Judson, I am merely
helping Olivia tie up her dress." He almost cursed himself,
doubting it would be proper for him to be tieing up her dress,
instead of the woman of the house Ms. Judson. (Seems legit)
"Would you like some help Mr. Basil?" As
Basil went to open his mouth to speak he had to quickly shut it
before moaning as Olivia had chosen that moment to continue her
movements. He shot a glare at her, but his look was only returned
with a seemingly innocent smile of her own. Though his hands tried
to stop her enticing motions, she only continued, making it nearly
impossible for him to speak smoothly. (Oh you tricky little
sodomizing fascist pig! You WANT him to get busted, dont'cha?)
"No, Ms. Judson, I am quite capable. Th-Thank
you!" He barely heard Ms. Judson's reply as she then walked
away from the door, as he looked back at Olivia, his fingers
tightening on her hips. He would have scolded her for her actions
if his mind wasn't too lost in the thoughts of his own pleasure as
Olivia slid along his member.
"Basil, please… I want you to…" Again
she could not bring herself to finish the sentence but Basil knew
of what she spoke, and could only shake his head in response. It
was not a matter of whether he wanted to or not, because he
desperately wanted to, but it would not be right, not even in the
slightest. As his pleasure was beginning to peak he attempted to
pull Olivia off of him, but to no avail, she was relentless. She
never once ceased her movements, which only caused Basil more
trouble.
(”It would not be right, not even in the slightest?”
Bitch, you let yourself get violated by a 20 years younger tramp
right above her unsuspecting father and your colleague on her 18th
birthday, you just lied to Ms. Judson and you refuse to blow the
cork because ”It would not be right, not even in the
slightest?”...
FUCK. YOU.)
"Olvia, I can not…" his words were cut
off as she once again slid down his member, fully seating herself
upon him.
"Please Basil, I want to, with you. Just this
once…" she panted, as she leaned her body against his, her
breasts pressing up against his chest once more.
"Olivia…" he began to protest, only to
be silence by a plea from her. One that until previously he had
thought he wouldn't hear from her.
"Please cum for me Basil…" and that was
it, he could no longer resist. A small part of him knew it was so
very wrong, knew that it could get the two of them in very big
trouble, but her movements, her please, her words, had driven him
mad.
(Sorry, but that's what I'm imagining him to look like at the moment, so I'm afraid you'll just have to do it too...)
He none too hastily rolled his body, pinning
Olivia's body beneath his own on the bed, and quickly hooking a
thumb behind her knees. Olivia looked up at him surprised, and
completely drowning in her lust. As he brought her legs up, having
them rest across his shoulders, he took no mercy on the young woman
below him. Thrusting into her recklessly as both of their pleasure
climbed exponentially. She gripped the blankets beside her, her
nails digging into them, and even causing a small tear, that
neither of them seemed to mind at the moment (Well during an act
of cunnilungus, it WOULD be natural for one to ignore the fact that
they're ripping the blankets. Some also seems to ignore that there
could also be other people nearby who tries to sleep). He
leaned closer to her, catching her own lips with his as he began to
feel the last of his resolve crumble, just as her legs were
beginning to shake on his shoulders. As he felt her walls tighten
around him, he could no longer hold himself back and felt himself
fall over the edge of orgasm as her own overtook her as well, their
cries muffled and mingling together between their lips.
As the last of his orgasm began to ebb away he
pulled out from her, and lay on his back beside her, noticing how
almost immediately she came to curl herself around him, her head
resting on his shoulder. The two lay there content, and incredibly
tired for a moment, before Olivia finally found the breath to
speak. (”You are SOO gonna pay child-support to me now,
buster!”)
"Basil… I… I…" Olivia stammered,
knowing what it was she wanted to say, but not quite having the
courage to actually speak it out right. With almost a sad sigh, she
spoke again, "Thank you." Basil knew what it was that she
wanted to say, and was almost a bit hurt by her sudden change of
statements. He figured that she should know his own feelings for
her, but figure he would let her express it on her own time, and
instead tilted her head up a bit to kiss her lips.
"We best get you downstairs before everyone
wonders what may have happened to us…" Basil smiles, as
feels Olivia nod against his chest. As they both as quickly as they
can don their attire, Olivia place one last kiss against Basil's
lips, hoping that it would not be their last, as they both exited
the room. (Me, on the other hand...)
As they entered the main room, Hiram was the first
to approach, hugging his daughter and carrying her away towards the
lovely cake Ms. Judson had made. Dawson leaving Olivia to her
father, cast a curious glance towards Basil, before quickly looking
away with a blush. Basil, quite curious as to why he would get such
a strange reaction from his companion headed over towards him.
(Maybe you two were louder than you thought? Fucking pervs...)
"Dawson? What's the matter old chap?"
Dawson merely made a motion towards his neck, and as Basil reached
up towards his own, he to his horror, noticed that he had forgotten
his tie…
(GOD DAMN IT, SHERLOCK!)
THE END Hur hur :p This turned out much longer
than I had intended… Oh well.. Enjoy ;p
…
Enjoy?...
…
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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