Storytime: Creamy Fox

Now, after some hiatus and actually readable stories, it's time for some really fucked up nonsense.
If you search for Sonic fanfiction you'll find 5% decent stories, 45% Mary-Sue self-insert crapfics and 50% fucked up and completely batshit insane furry-fantasy eroticas. And this trilogy of insanity porn was written by the psycopath Black Vipah.
He/she/it has written three stories, the first two are about Amy Rose being morally constipated and gives Cream (and Tails) lessons in sex.
…
May I remind you all that Cream's legit age is 6, Tails is 12 and Amy is 14.
Is it okay if I record that agonizing scream you just emitted?
I mean, just look at the contents:[Furry [Loli [Oral [Anal [Yuri
Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog, or any of their characters, ect.
Scared yet?!
I know I am!
And I don't even have any vodka with me this time! I've only got a sixpack of RedBull!
… This is going to be painful, I just know it...Side note: This story is kinda like a part two to my story Creamy Rose, you may want to check that out first. ;)
So yeah, this is the second part, the one where Tails gets raped by Amy and Cream. And it has a twist in it too, which is why I chose to do the second story, instead of the first! (or the third, where Rouge joins in the fun. Rouge is by the way my favorite Sonic character, and I literally gagged when reading that story...)
Alright, I'll see if Red Bull has the same effect as vodka, since I'm all out of that alchoholic goodness. If not, this is going to get weird in a while...
I so do NOT support this crap...

Creamy Fox by Black Vipah
"I don't get it Amy, he just didn't seem to like it." The six year old rabbit was back at the lake, talking to Amy. "I even pushed the dildo inside of his tail hole like you did to me, but he said that it hurt, I thought that was the best part!"

(May I remind you that she is 6 years old?)
Amy giggled a little as she listened to Cream's problem. "Maybe I should have explained a little better." The young pink hedgehog said. "Why don't I show you what to do when your with a man."
(I TOLD YOU IT WAS SICK!)
Cream smiled her usual cute smile "Sounds like fun!" she said eagerly. "The first thing you should know, is most men don't like things in their tail holes." she said again with a little giggle. "You see, what you do with a man, they feel good with their penis." Amy said.
(Oh, and he uses the word ”tailhole” instead of ”asshole”... Do I have to comment on that?)

Cream just stared at her blankly, finally she asked "What's a penis?" Amy now blushing looked at Cream. "Well, a penis is... uh..." She really didn't know how to explain it. "Ah man, there has to be a better way to do this." she thought to herself.
(How about by STOP PRACTICING STATUTORY RAPE ON A SIX YEAR OLD BUNNY?!)
"Ok, this isn't going to work Cream." The rabbit's filled with sadness "Aww come on Amy, pleeeeeeeeeease?" Amy thought about it for a few seconds. "Ok" Amy said "but this needs to be handled... delicately." she said.

"Come on Tails, move faster!" Cream said as she ran though the forest. "All right, all right, jeez, what's your hurry?" Tails said, falling behind. "What's up here anyway?" Cream stopped, faced Tails, and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. "Something amazing." She said, as the fox just looked at her, puzzled. Cream continued towards her destination, Tails following her as if in a trance.

(Oh God, nothing has happened yet, but I've already finished a can... THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG WRITE!)
Cream continued running, until she finally reached the lake. "YAY! We're here!" she yelled out excitedly. Tails slowly followed behind, looking around the giant lake. It was a beautiful area, isolated from the rest of the world by a wall of trees. Green grass surrounded a giant, circular, lake, that shimmered from the morning sun. "Wow...this place is huge..." Tails said as he drunk in it's beauty. "But what are we doing here? Are we gonna have a picknick?"
(Yes)

Cream turned to Tails "Nope." she said with a smile. "Then why are we--" The fox was cut off when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "She's here to learn." a female voice said. Tails almost jumped, he immediately turned around to see Amy. "Oh, Amy, you startled--" that is when he realized, Amy was naked! The fox scanned the naked hedgehog, her absolutely stunning body, covered in pink hair, except her breasts, stomach, and pussy.

(Thank you for describing what a naked Amy Rose looks like.
I didn't need the sleep anyway...)
Amy giggled as she saw the fox examining her. "I see your curious too."
(HIS CURIOUS???)
She giggled as Tails blushed. Tails turned to Cream and said "Cream, what is go--" But he was once again sidetracked when he saw Cream, pulling her shirt over her head, revealing that she had nothing on under it.
"Cream! What are you doing!?" the orange fox said in a panic. "She's learning" Amy said, now right next Tails.

(No, she was getting undressed, you ubercunt!)
Cream approached the stunned fox, slowly. She grabbed his face with both hands, and kissed Tails deeply. As her tongue started probing his mouth, Tails made moans of protest, but they quickly died out as he started enjoying the experience. Tails closed his eyes as he started wrestling tongues with Cream. In Tails' mind, there was nothing else in existence, just him, and Cream. Sadly, just as quickly as it began, it ended. Cream broke away, and to fox was back to his confused state of mind. "Wha...what is going on?" He said shyly. "Well" Amy replied "I promised Cream that I would teach her about sex, and from the looks of it" she giggled "you could learn a thing or too about it too."

"You guys are really freaking me out" Tails said, slowly backing away from Amy. "Ohhhhhhh come on Tails play with us, it is really fun." Cream said, slowly moving her face back to the fox's, not stopping until right next to his ear. "Please" she whispered sexily into Tail's ear.

(”The six year old bunny whispered sexily into the twelve year old fox' ear”... Ladies and gentlemen: ONLY IN A PERVERTED FURRY FANFIC!)
The fox started blushing again, and replied "O...Ok", as if under a spell. "YAY!" the bunny jumped up, happily, almost completely changing personalities.
(Because Cream is not normally a cheerful and bubbly little girl)
"But, what do I do?" Tails asked. "You get the best job." Amy said slyly, slowly moving towards Tails from behind. Tails turned to Amy, only to get pushed to the ground. Upon hitting the ground, the fox let out a moan. "Ow, What was that-" but the fox was cut off by the pink hedgehog, kissing him. The hedgehog kissed him slowly, deeply, and passionately. While they were kissing, Amy laid down on top of the young fox, and started stroking his face softly.
(

+

 =

ENJOY THAT PICTURE!)
Tails started to feel strange, he had never felt like this before. His whole body felt ticklish, but it felt good. Amy could sense the fox was starting to get aroused, she pulled her mouth out. "Ok Cream" she said "look between his legs, then you can see what a boy's penis looks like.". Cream scanned between Tails legs as Amy went back to kissing the fox. Suddenly, Cream noticed something starting to pop out beneath the fox's fur. It looked kind of small, it was thin and pink.
(Brace youselves; the twist is coming...)
Cream was curious, she pushed down on it slightly, wondering if this was a penis. As soon as she pressed down, she heard a moan of pleasure break though Amy's kiss, and suddenly, the object started to grow bigger. Amy still heavily making out with Tails heard Cream say "Amy, I think I found it, but which one is the penis?" Amy was a little puzzled, she broke away from Tails again, who started panting, wanting more. Amy turned around and said "What do you me-...oh my gosh" she couldn't believe what she saw, Tails actually had two penises!
(I repeat: ”Tails actually had two penises!

”TAILS ACTUALLY HAD TWO PENISES!”

DOS PENISOSOS!
OFCOURSE HE HAS TWO PENISES! HE HAS TWO TAILS, HASN'T HE?? SO ACCORDING TO BLACK VIPAH LOGIC: HE ALSO HAS TWO DONGERS!
JUST LIKE A SNAKE!
... I bet theres a Viper joke here somewhere...)
"Tails! I...how...how do you have TWO penises!?" Amy asked, confused. The fox still panting said what anyone would say in this situation. "Do...Doesn't everyone?"

(… is Amy really the only one here who's had sex-ed in school? Sure, Tails is only twelve, but at that age I'm FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT MALES KNOWS THE NORMAL AMOUNT OF PENISES ONE SHOULD HAVE!)
Amy was stunned, this was amazing, it was like, double the pleasure, she never would have guessed! One was on top, the other was just below it, both equal in size, about 7 inches. Amy almost drooled at the sight. "So many possibilities..." she thought to herself. "Ok Cream" Amy smiled slyly "the rules just changed."
(Bitch, what rules?! YOU'VE BROKEN EVERY GODDAMN RULE ALREADY! WHAT FUCKING RULES?!)
"I want you to do exactly what I do to Tails' other penis, understood?" Cream nodded happily "Uh huh!" Tails, still on the ground was kind of nervous now. "What are they going to do to me?" he thought to himself. Amy laid down on the fox, facing top penis. She licked her lips, and slowly moved towards it. She licked it from it's base all the way to his tip, causing the fox to shutter and moan with pleasure. Cream followed Amy's lead. She lied down in front of the bottom penis and did the same thing. "N...No Cream, this isn...isn't right." The fox protested.
(Listen to the kid!)
"Shhh" Amy replied. "It's ok, you will love this." "Ya!" Cream said "Amy's a genius at this stuff, trust her!"
(Genius isn't the word which I would've chosen to describe Amy right now...)
Cream said with a smile. "I..I don't know..." Before the fox could protest anymore, Amy opened her mouth, and started sucking on his top penis. "Ah AH!" Tails couldn't believe it, it felt so good! Cream immediately did the same as Amy. She started bobbing her head. Tails was arching his back, mouth wide open. He was in pure ecstasy, he never imagined anything could feel like this.'

Amy and Cream continued to suck on both of Tails' penises. Cream was really starting to get the hang of it. She started swirling her tongue on the tip of the penis. It tasted like nothing she had ever tasted before. It even had an intoxicating aroma.

(… Dicks do NOT have an intoxicating aroma, you sick fuck. I have never encountered a dick that had an ”intoxicating aroma”)
Cream was loving every second of it. Amy however, wanted more. She pulled her mouth out and said "Tails, lick my pussy!" Tails snapped out of his trance, but he didn't know what Amy meant. Amy grew impatient, and shoved her pussy right in his face. "Mmm, MMM" Tails' protests were muffled, but then, the scent of Amy's pussy caught his nose. He became aroused by the intoxicating aroma, and almost instinctively started prodding his tongue into her. "Ohhh" Amy groaned in pleasure as Tails swirled his tongue around inside of her. She quickly went back to sucking on Tails' top penis.
(Do you guys really realize how sick and fucked up this is yet? Amy Rose, a fourteen year old hedgehog, is performing ye olde forced fellatio on a two-dicked 12 year old fox while a 6 year old rabbit is doing the exact same thing. And she previously lured the 6 year old into having lesbian sex with her, so that ”she would learn” what sex is.
THIS IS WHY I HATE THE SONIC FANDOM!)

As Cream heard Amy's moans of pleasure, she felt left out. Tails was her boyfriend, why did she get to have all the fun? Cream stopped sucking, and pulled away. She was going to start complaining to Amy, but then, Tails said "Oh, Cream, please don't stop! It feels so good!" That is when she realized, even though Amy was helping, Tails only really cared about Cream. Cream smiled, and started sucking again, harder than before, she really wanted to please him.
(”Tails only really cared about Cream”? False, Tails only really cared about getting blown!)

Tails could feel something building up inside him. With every passing second he felt a pressure growing in his tummy. It kept pushing harder, and harder, and harder, suddenly, he felt something. "I...I'M GONNA PEE!!" He yelled out loudly, worried about peeing in the girls' mouths.
(Hey if you're lucky one of the girls might be related to Bear Grylls! Or Jenna!)
The girls new better however, and both prepared to suck down all the juices the fox had to offer. Cum started spewing everywhere inside their mouths. Amy pulled out and started coughing, it was too much cum for her to take. The cum from the top penis spurted all over Cream who was still swallowing Tails' cum. Amy got off of Tails and looked at Cream. "Wow, she's sucking like a pro!" she thought to herself. Cream held on until finally, Tails stopped cumming.
(Ah yes, and I bet her mother is so proud over her little aspiring whore. Aren't you, Vanilla?!)
Cream swallowed the last of the cum, savoring the flavor. She got up, and knelled down next to the fox's face. Tails was exhausted and slowly catching his breath. His first orgasm took a lot out of him. Finally, he gained the strength to say "I...I'm sorry Cream. I couldn't hold it in." Cream just smiled her usual cute smile, and kissed him on the mouth. "I loved every second of it." she whispered sexually in his ear. Amy put her hand on Cream's shoulder. "I think your ready for the real fun." she said.

(”I loved every second of it.” The six year old whispered sexually into the twelve year olds year”
Excuse me while I go beat Black Vipah to death with a copy of the Holy Bible)
Amy lead Cream over to the still hard penises, and positioned her pussy and tail hole just above them.

(AGAIN with the tailhole!)
"Ok" Amy said "slowly slide into them." Cream slowly started to sit down as Amy told her. She shivered when she felt the tip of the top one press against her pussy. It was big, bigger than the dildo. She slowly pushed it in, until finally she felt the tip inside her. "OHHH!" both Cream and Tails moaned in pleasure. Cream continued to slowly slide down Tails' top penis, until her tail hole touched his bottom penis. "Ohh.. Amy, this... doesn't feel right." Cream said.
(FINALLY she realize!)
Amy knelled down over Tails' body, facing Cream at eye level. "Shhhh, it's alright. You'll be begging for more in a few seconds." Amy then helped ease her down a little more into Tails' lower penis. Cream whimpered as the lower penis started penetrating her tail hole. Amy started to suck on Cream's little nipples, increasing her pleasure, she also put her dripping wet pussy back in Tails' face, and he started sucking on it.

(I swear, this guy took it straight outta my nightmares.
Btw, I've finished three cans now and I think my pillow is talking to me. I don't know if it's because of the RedBull, the fanfic or both)
Cream pushed Amy's head into her nipples as she continued to slowly go down further, and further on both penises. With every inch, Cream's pleasure grew greater and greater. It felt so much better than when she did it with Amy.
(If anyone's interested, right now I'm simultaneously laughing and crying while sipping on my fourth RedBull... I'm gonna die because of this, I just know it)
Finally, she had reached the base of the penises. Amy, still sucking on Cream's nipples grabbed Cream's hips and started lifting her up and bringing her back down in rhythm. Cream quickly picked up on this and started doing it on her own. Tails was in heaven, it all felt so good he couldn't believe it. Cream also couldn't believe how wonderful it felt. Her small whimpers had become screams of pleasure, and she was loving every second of it.

Amy needed more. "Tails! Stick your finger in my tail hole!" she yelled out. Tails started fingering Amy's tail hole, causing her to scream out in pleasure.

"oh..Oh...sooo good!" Amy said. Amy grabbed hold of Cream's face and kissed her deeply. As there tongues wrestled with each other, they both felt a rush neither of them had felt before. Cream's rhythm grew faster, and faster.
(Go go go go go go, gotta go fast!)
Amy broke off the kiss, with a loud scream of pleasure. None of them knew how much more they could take. Amy was practically burying her pussy in Tails' face, who continued to please with his mouth. "OH...OHHH...OHHHHHH" All three of them were at their peek, they couldn't take much more! "I'M CUMMING!" they all shouted at the same time!
(Sonic, he's on the run
Sonic, he's number one
Sonic, he's CUMMING next
So watch out, for SONIC X!)
Tails was filling the young rabbit up with his cum, both in her pussy and tail hole. Cream felt a great warmth inside her as the inside of her body was getting covered with warm, sticky cum.
Amy splattered her juices all over Tails' face, Cream's went all over his body. Amy panted a little and caught her breath. She then got off of the fox, and watched the young couple. Cream felt her tiny stomach expanding with all the cum. She screamed in pleasure, it was too much for her to take! Cream passed out on top of Tails. Tails also passed out from the pleasure. The image of them lying on each other was a sight for Amy's eyes. It was one of the cutest things she had ever seen.
(AWWW!! SO KAWAII DESU!!)

Amy walked over to them, and gave them both a kiss on the cheek. She then started on her way home with the feeling that she did something great for them today.
(ABSOLUTELY! SHE DESERVES AN AWARD: HOW ABOUT ”SICKEST MOTHERFUCKING STATUTORY RAPIST CUNT OF THE MONTH” AWARD?!)
About a half an hour later, Tails woke up. The sun had started to set, and the sky had turned an orange that was the same color as his fur. The only thing more beautiful than the sky, was the young rabbit lying on top of him. Tails kissed Cream on the forehead, waking the rabbit up. Cream slowly started opening her eyes, her vision still blurry. As soon as she could see Tails' face clearly, she kissed him. Tails and Cream stood up, and looked at their reflection in the lake. "I love you Cream." Tails said. Cream's shimmering eyes lit up with joy, and she kissed him. "I love you too Tails. Thanks for playing with me." Cream said, smiling as she hugged Tails.

The End (I have never been so happy over those two little words in my entire life...)



Note to self: no more energy drinks while doing a storytime:
IT ONLY ADDS ON THE DEPRAVING EFFECT OF THE FIC! I CAN NOW HEAR MY COMPUTER SCREAMING IN PAIN FOR HAVING TO WITHSTAND THIS ALONG WITH ME!
OH GOD, I IMAGINED EVERYTHING IN THEIR VOICES, AND THE IMAGES WERE SO CRYSTAL CLEAR!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
I NEED TO GO OUT AND RUN, MAYBE EVEN JUMP INTO THE RIVER!

All hail the Butthurt-brigade! (Or not)

 Warning, incredibly offensive content (or at least more offensive than usual):

Hear ye, hear ye! Oh thou Bold White Knights of the Internet! I fear that thine valiant quest to vanquish controversial buffoonery from VisageParchment is all for naught, as the people will always have there own free minds and opinions.

Translated from ye olde butcherede englishe: Yo! Butthurt-brigade who always fucking fucks everything up for for us with a fucked up sense of humor and reports controversial pages on facebook: imagine you're lodging a toothpick underneath your big toe nail and kick a wall as hard as you can.

YES! IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER RANT, BITCHES!
 

There's an ancient law that originated from youtube, I think it's an awesome law and should be valid for ALL internet pages: "don't like, don't watch"

Fucking poetry, man!

Seriously, WHY like a page where the admin CLEARLY says it contains controversial and raw humor, if you're easily offended?
And if you're noticing that the page in question IS uploading offensive jokes about death, cancer, racism, your mom, rape etc, WHY stay and complain about it? Just dislike, get the fuck out and stay on the pages that uploads religious wondercrap and cute kittens! Or even better: turn off the computer or put down the phone and go outside! THERE'S A "BLOCK CONTENT FROM [insert name here] ON MY TIMELINE" OPTION FOR A REASON, YOU FUCKSTICK!

And to be frank, I don't think the people administrating these pages gives a fuck about your butthurt, ya know? That's usually what they want: to provoke people.
I admit it: I fucking LOVE it when people starts arguing over a pic on the internet, stating their butthurt and cries like it's a big deal. Have you any idea how much popcorn I've been eating lately?! I swear, I almost look like an American!
Take this image for instance:

 This made peoples butts hurt more than if they would've gotten Mandingo's cock up their tight asses. But my reaction to this? I laughed.
I know I'm a fucked up and awful person with an even more fucked up sense of humor, and I'm not denying it! But c'mon, this was so fucking crude I just HAD to laugh! Dang!
I even showed this to a guy whose mom died in cancer when he was 8, and guess how he reacted to this? He laughed as well. Why? Because he, just like me, think you can joke about everything, EVERYTHING! As long as it's a joke, and you think it's funny, you can laugh at it! No matter how fucked up and mean it is!
Humor comes in all sizes, shapes and degrees, fucking deal with it!
Just don't bother with the controversial pages.
You're NOT getting praised like some fucking Saint for reporting an offensive pic, or complain about how offensive it is.
You're getting laughed at.
So, stop making a cuntcake out of yourself and just ignore the darker kind of humor, okay?
I personally think that something, a pic or joke or whatevs, is okay as long as it's meant as a joke. Rape, school shootings, terrorism, women-belong-in-the-kitchen etc, it's all hilarious, as long as they're meant as nothing more than jokes!
However, people who actually think some women are asking to be raped, are literally asking to get fucking stabbed with spoons, get bricks of lego showed up their ass, forced to listen to Justin Bieber, One Direction and Rebecca Black (ALL AT THE SAME TIME) and lit on fire.

And please, Fuckerberg: STAY THE FUCK OUT! It's not YOUR page, (but facebook belongs to ME, hurr durr!) banning the admins and deleting the pages WON'T stop people from having a fucked up sense of humor!

Oh, and while we're at it: Islam and religion jokes.
My favorite jokes are the ones about religion, because religion is the biggest heaps of bullcrap humanity has ever produced and ALL religions are nothing but a big fucking joke!
Especially Islam.
Seriously, crack an offensive joke about Jesus and only a few Christians will react.
Draw a picture of Muhammed and you'll get the entire Religion of Peace all over your ass!
Of course, there are sensible and intelligent Muslims out there who can take jokes and don't get all ragefucked over something as silly like this:

or

etc, well, you get it!
They are really cool guys, and doesn't deserve to be put in the same category as Islamists. The "chill" people of Islam should be the example, but unfortunately it's not them who's getting the attention.
It's the motherfucking fucksticks who overreacts and goes havoc as soon as someone says something negative about their religion.

...
... Good job representing the "Religion of Peace", guys!
They say it's people brainwashed by media who hates on Muslims, but I disagree. It's their own goddamn fault that they're viewed by people as a violent and woman-oppressing religion, JUST TAKE A FUCKING LOOK AT YOURSELVES!
"BEHEAD THOSE WHO SAY ISLAM IS VIOLENT"?! OKAY!
And Christianity wasn't more violent than Islam back in the days: they were equally brutal! (Just fucking look at all the devastation Islam caused to North Africa) 
And this guy seem to know what he's talking about, perhaps worth a watch?:

I'm not saying that Christianity is completely innocent though, Christians has also been like a zit in the nose to the world, with their fucking crusade, "civilization" of "savage" continents like Africa, America, etc. Plus Christian religions are excellent at showing their worthless bullshit down other peoples throats! (Yes, Mormons and Jehovah, I'm looking at you, assholes!)
To be honest, I'd rather be living in a "uncultivated shithole" like in an African or South-American native tribe, than in the modern society.
Anyway, back to the point!
I'm not religious at all, as I said: all religion is a bunch of bullshit, (but I love to read about them and find some religions really interesting), but I think Christianity has made up for SOME of the wars, crusades etc, by developing and stop being so fucking strict and tight assed. Although they aren't even close to making up for all the depravity they caused the "new worlds" and their natives!
Most Muslims and Islamists (Note how I don't say "everyone") are still stuck in the fucking Middle Ages or something.
I'm not hateful, I don't hate people unless I got a good reason for it. I'm pretty neutral.
But I don't respect people either.
Respect is earned, not given. 

THIS IS CALLED "FREEDOM OF SPEECH", MOTHERFUCKER!

Have I offended anyone now?
Bring on the hate, mate! Me and my popcorns are ready!

Storytime: My Inner Life; the Bonding part 2

Alright, you guys thought it was over?! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! No.

It's not over.

It's FAR from over!

We've still got TWO bonding sessions left! And guess what? I've done some research on this, and lemme tell you: she's probaly made it all up...

She made EVERYTHING up! This is all HER creation! This bisarre ”Pagan Ritual” (performed by non-Wiccan monks, btw...) doesn't exist in real world, the SENSIBLE world!... Nevermind, this world isn't all that sensible BUT WOW! She actually thought of ALL THIS by HERSELF!

Enjoy your misery in knowing that!

Let's continue!

My Inner Life, the Bonding by ”Links Queen” Jen

Round 2

The Spiritual Bonding

         The next ritual was the spiritual bonding. After the details were told to us, the head monk called his two servants and they came with two colored pendants and bowls with colored liquid in them. The two servants took the liquid and begun to drawl beautiful intricate patterns on our backs, arms and chests. Then they put the pendant with the red stone around my neck, the blue one around Link's. The two servants moved away, and we were told to embrace each other. I moved over to Link and into his arms. I put my arms around his neck and closed my eyes. I heard the head monk start to chant again. And my mind clearing of all thoughts, as the void opened around me again.

(And BOINGG! Link got an awkward boner!

Wow, first joke was the worst one yet...)

        I heard Link's voice call out to me again in my mind. The erotic feeling filled my body, and I felt the warmth of Link's body against mine.

(WHAT?! He DID get a boner, didn't he?!)

I could feel Link inside me again.

(Oh come on! I can't keep beating this dead horse in this round too!)

I felt his heart beating inside my chest, felt it beating along side mine. The feeling ran deeper, deeper into my soul. The stones were connecting our very souls together. I felt as if our bodies merged, felt as if our minds became one. I could hear Link's thoughts in the back of my mind like a distant voice. His thoughts rushed through me, his heart pounded in my chest. Then I felt myself rise out of my body.

(I felt that once too, but then I farted and immediately felt better!)

       My sprit rose above me and I looked over and saw Link had done the same. I went over to him. Merged with his spirit, became one. I became him, he became me.

(Jan)

After we merged completely, our spirits separated and returned to our bodies, each carrying a part of each other's spirit.

(Wat r u doin?)

I felt our souls merge. Felt the connection between us, we were soul mates, we were always destined to be together. I felt as if I had known him all my life. I learned many new things about him. Learned about his past. Learned about how he felt.

(Jan)

I heard him call to me, heard him call me his world, call me his life. I knew now that he was deeply in love with me. I meant more to him then life itself. We were one. Now and forever.

(Stahp!)

       Then the void shattered. I felt Link's hands stroking my hair and I opened my eyes. I looked deeply into them and saw how he felt in them. They flickered with passion, flickered with love. I leaned over and gently kissed him. I told him that I loved him and he was the most important thing in my life. The head monk stopped chanting and we returned our attention to him. He looked at us and told us that the spiritual bonding was complete.

(Thank GOD!)

         He called his servants back and had them bring us some water. A minute later the two servants came back with two mugs filled with water. We were handed each a mug and I drank the water in large gulps. After we finished, the servants took the mugs away and left.

(And guess what comes next?)


The Sexual Bonding

         Next we were told that the final part of the ceremony was the sexual bonding. We were explained the rules. First off we had to have sex.

(NO FUCKING WAY?!)

And since we completed the other rituals, the sexual bonding process should be easy, yet more intense. I was nervous about having sex in front of others, but we were told that the only witness would be Mother Earth herself.

(The face of every goddamn monk in the temple) 
I held Link's hand as he stroked my hair and said everything would be ok. He was there with me. His words always made me feel better, so I calmed down. The head monk explained the requirements in completing the ritual then was gone.

(Rules of the Sexual Bonding:

No biting

No kicking

No screaming

No fetishes

No bonding

No looking into the camera

No chanting in any diabolical languages

You have to sacrifice any child that was created during the bonding to lord Ganondorf

Ghirahim is paying us to let him watch so just ignore him

Have fun and I hope you enjoy bonding with the Tibetanian Munks of WTF!)

       Then I turned and faced Link. I looked deeply into his eyes as he took his hand and brushed the stray hair out of my face. Then I took the tips of my fingers and ran them down his bare chest. A lulling feeling came over me. Link felt it too. Like a call of nature. He leaned over and gently pressed his lips on mine. We begun to kiss passionately, tasting the sweetness on each other's lips. Our tongues began to intertwine as we kissed deeper. Sexual thoughts begun to race through my mind again. And I could feel Link's hands starting to caress my naked body, as his lips moved to my breasts. I let out soft moans of passion as new sensations begun to race threw me. I felt Link's heart beginning to beat along side mine. And the feeling of being connected begun to race through me again, as I heard his every thought. I heard him in my mind, telling me that he wanted me, that he wanted to make love.

(Soo, shall we begin?

…

)

       Then I felt him getting aroused, felt how much he wanted it. Strong intense feelings raced threw my body, raced threw my bones. My body shook as sweat begun to form. And then I felt myself getting hotter, felt myself wanting him more and more. I wanted him, needed him. I wanted to feel him inside me.

(But, you've already done that like, three times already?! Lady! CONTROL YOURSELF! Mr Atkinson doesn't want any part of this bullcrap anymore!!)

My body quivered and shook as his hand slowly went down, first to my thighs, then between my legs. Then I cried out in ecstasy as his fingers worked against my clitoris. It felt soo good. Felt soo intense. I arced my back and cried out in loud animal- like cries as his fingers reached the entrance and slid deep inside...."Oh....my Goddesses....Link..more baby.....LINK!" I screamed in pure ecstasy as his gentle steady thrusts made my legs quake.
(But, what KIND of animal-like cries did she make?

Do worry! You'll find out!)

       Then I felt myself starting to climax as his fingers thrust deeper upping the movements. My body shuddered from the immense feelings that raged threw it. I grabbed onto the ground my nails digging into the dirt as Link's fingers made my body scream in eternal bliss. I cried out as the surges came in raging pulses, and my body withered under his touch. I begun to twist violently as the surges of pure ecstasy came in closer beats. Then when Link hit the right spot I let out a loud cat like cry...."LINK!" 

(Cat-like cry?

Does this count as a cat-like cry you can make while sex?)

I screamed as I reached my peak and gushed down his hand...........panting I got up and looked at him, his lips parted to say something but I placed a finger on them. I shook my finger then moved it away as he gently laid me down.

(This girl definitely likes to imagine felines having sex when she writes..

No idea what I'm talking about?

Hehe, just you wait and see...)

       Then he climbed on top of me and I felt his member at my entrance . Slowly he penetrated my body and cries of eternal bliss escaped passed my lips. As he moved inside me, my hips bucked up against his as we begun to find a rhythm. Slowly at first, then Link began to thrust deeper upping the movements. As we made hot love, I felt as if our bodies merged.

(FUSION HAAA!)

Felt our hearts beating in unison. Our minds became one, and our souls connected. I heard his every thought, thoughts of love and passion. And I knew how I was making him feel. As he penetrated deeper inside me, it felt like nothing I had ever felt before.

(Well, at least this time he really IS inside you!)

Then I started to call out his name in between cries of passion, and his breathing became faster. I felt his hot breath on my neck as he worked his lips there. With each thrust, strong pulses of pure ecstasy raced threw me. I bucked up against him, forcing him deeper inside me.

       Our hips swiveled in unison as our bodies moved against each other. My body started convulsing as I felt myself starting to climax. Then his thrusts came in faster beats as he started to climax. Our cries filled the air as we both came to our peaks. Then he delivered the final thrust as he started to release a warmth inside me. He let out a loud animal like cry as he delivered the hot liquid deep down inside my inner sanctum.

(Let's keep a count of how many releases they gets during this act!

L: 1

J: 1)

Then a strong feeling surged through my body, a feeling so intense that I screamed out Link's name as I peaked then had huge orgasm. It felt soo good that I never wanted it to end. The feeling was so intense, we wanted to keep going, wanted to keep feeling the intensity of our lovemaking.

(L: 1

J: 2)

       Exhausted, I screamed as I tried to find the strength to go on. I clawed into Link's back as I bucked against him. Sweat rolled down our bodies as we fought to climax a second time.

(There's so many errors in the logic, biology and all that's good in nature here that it would take me all week to ramble it all up...)

I ran my now sweaty hands up and down his back digging my nails into his skin as I pushed up against him. Link too fought to reach a second peak. Fighting with what strength he had left, he thrust himself deeper inside my tired sweaty body, pushing to climax a second time. He screamed, cursed to find the strength as his thrusts came in faster beats. His hands grabbed down on my sides, as he tried to steady himself. Then I felt the strength leaving my body. Fighting for the strength, I screamed out in loud cat cries as I turned tigress.

(AND THUS BEGINS ANOTHER OF THE MANY ACTS OF TIGER SEX IN THIS FIC!

EVERYTIME SHE MENTIONS A FELINE, I'LL POST IT!)

I forced my trembling body up against his. Desperately trying to reach a second peak. I clawed deeper into his back as I cried out loudly like a tiger in heat.

My back arced as I pushed in unison with his thrusts.

       Then I felt myself starting to climax again. I cried out to Link, grunting like a female tiger to urge him on.

(Jen: 3

Link: 1

And:

He returned my calls as cat like sounds escaped passed his lips.

(MEOW MOTHERFUCKER!)

Then I felt him beginning to climax again. We thrust against each other, our bodies trembling while crying like tigers mating as we came to a full climax and exploded together one last time.

With one last gasp we fell to the ground painting, our bodies exhausted and dripping with sweat. I laid against his tired body as I tried to catch my breath.

(Jen: 3

Link: 2

I think we all see who's the winner here?)

We just laid there awhile shivering, trying to regain our strength. I looked into Link's eyes as I heard him in my mind telling me that he enjoyed the experience. "I love you." I said to him telepathically.

(Oh yes, did I meantion she's telepathic now?

A mandatory attribute for every true Mary-Sue!)

Then I leaned over and gently placed little kisses on his cheek while he held me in his sweaty arms. Finally I felt complete with him. We were now completed as one.

AAAAAAAAAAAUUUWWRGH!

Let me jog your memory on one thing:

She actually, voluntarily dreamed of this.

She had a LUCID DREAM about this.

But this isn't the only time!

THIS FIC IS ENTIRELY BASED OFF HER DREAMS ABOUT HER LIFE WITH LINK!

HER MANY, MANY DREAMS!

Despite my decaying soul, this still hurts to read.

Poor Link...

But I bet we all agree that Link DEFINITELY needs to get some ass NOW!

I mean, for more than 25 years, he's saved the whole fucking world like a gazillion of times.

And how does Zelda thank him?

”Yeah, sure, thanks. Now GTFO to the Friendzone before I call the guards on your stupid ass!”

Nothing.

No pussy.

Not even a bj!

NOT EVEN A FUCKING KISS!

Links balls are the bluest of them all!

Link; the Grand Master of the Friendzone!

But really, he didn't deserve THIS!
...
AND DO YOU REALIZE THAT I ACTUALLY HAD TO SEARCH FOR PICTURES OF TIGERS MATING ON MY SCHOOL COMPUTER?! 
Thank fucking God for incognito...